VIP - Very Important Parents
Building self-esteem and positive self-image
1. You can make a huge difference in how your teen perceives him or herself by accepting and affirming him or her, fostering independence and autonomy, and helping to instill confidence.
2. Show your acceptance by being physically and emotionally available. Hug your child every day and regularly say, “I love you.” Do this privately if your child is older and uncomfortable with affection in front of friends.
3. Give your child your undivided attention when he wants to talk.
4. Do your best to attend activities or events, and schedule specific mealtimes, particularly if a busy work schedule or a family issue is cutting into the time you spend together.
5. Be emotionally present by allowing your teen to openly express feelings and then accept those feelings without judgment. Help her to process those feelings before offering your own perception. And use “I” statements to share your own feelings.
6. Support independence by allowing your teen to make her own decisions, as long as she follows established guidelines and principles. Even if you disagree, respect her opinions and encourage her to express them. She needs to learn self-awareness by problem-solving and figuring out consequences on her own. Let her have the space to discover what gives her life meaning and purpose, apart from your own viewpoint. Also, respect her physical privacy, by letting her retreat to the safe haven of her bedroom. Show you trust her by respecting the privacy of her phone conversations and e-mails. Prove your own trustworthiness, by keeping your promises.
7. Help your teen feel confident by letting him know it’s normal to make mistakes, and that we can learn from them. Share some of your own mistakes. Teach your teen basic life skills, like cooking and cleaning. Let him take on responsibilities and tasks without constantly checking up on his progress. Expose him to volunteer opportunities — helping others often makes people feel better about themselves. Let your teen choose activities that match his unique interests or talents, rather than forcing your interests on him. Assure your child that, while being different can certainly be difficult during adolescence, it’s a valued trait to have as an adult. Avoid comparing him to siblings or classmates. Don’t yell or speak harshly when correcting behavior. And make sure you praise and offer feedback not just for positive behavior and actions, but also for effort.
8. Loneliness and insecurity may lead to low self-esteem (and vice-versa), so feeling accepted and loved by family, friends, and groups, such as sports teams or religious organizations, is key. Teach your family members to trust each other, believe in each other and stick up for one another, while respecting each member’s individual differences. Spend time together, show affection and encourage strengths rather than criticizing weaknesses. Your child’s sense of self is created and continues to develop at home, so establish a supportive, nurturing, positive environment. Your teen looks to you for validation and approval — and nobody will ever love your child the way you do. So help him or her become the best person possible.
Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs we will ever have to perform, but overall it is the best job a person can ever be awarded. Yes, we don't get paid,we never get a vacation, we cannot just walk off of the job, and tell them to shove it! Through all of this, we feel wonderful when our kids are successful, that means more to us than any raise or promotion.
TBLC was created not only for our kids, but for the parents who take their kids education personally. Don’t feel bad if you cannot afford to get your son or daughter some over priced instruction hours at the popular learning centers or if you don’t trust you neighbor who say she was good in math back in college. We have brought in some of the Best Certified Teachers in the area to give your child one-on-one instruction at an affordable rate, so sign up and relax.
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A young man agreed to babysit one night so a single mother could have an evening out. At bedtime, he sent the youngsters upstairs to bed and settled down to watch football.
One child kept creeping down the stairs, but the young man kept sending him back to bed.
At 9pm the doorbell rang, it was the next-door neighbor, Mrs. Brown, asking whether her son was there. The young man brusquely replied, "No."
Just then a little head appeared over the banister and shouted, "I'm here, Mom, but he won't let me go home!"